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With even just a hint of bad luck, travel can quickly become more stressful than exciting. With a partner, this stress has the opportunity to compound.
As summer hits a midway point, travel is in full swing, and so are interpersonal conflicts over the silliest—and most annoying—things. Think jet lag, missed connections and poor navigation. Traveling with a partner means there are more preferences and pet peeves to navigate.
Newsweek spoke to psychotherapist Nicolle Osequeda, the founder and owner of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, for her tips on surviving a long or complicated vacation with a partner—and what to do if things are already going south.
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“By following these steps, you can maintain a healthy and communicative relationship during summer travel with your partner,” Osequeda said.
The path to a peaceful holiday begins well before you take off. Osequeda said that open communication in planning for a trip sets an important precedent for the vacation itself.
“Discuss and set clear expectations from the planning stage,” she advised. “Determine specific responsibilities such as purchasing tickets, making reservations and creating the itinerary.”
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Beyond the logistics, though, Osequeda advocated having another conversation—on travel preferences. Do you like to move quickly or slowly? Is it more important to you to delve deep and see less, or go shallow and see more? Are you comfortable with ending your days tired? How do you unpack in a hotel room? These are some of the questions that she says might be good to discuss early on.
“Decide on making reservations in advance or being spontaneous, creating a detailed itinerary or going with the flow, and the need for alone time versus spending all your time together,” Osequeda said.
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Despite doing the prep work, tensions may still rise when on the trip. Osequeda recommended regular check-ins and breaks during times when things get a bit heated.
“Discuss how to address situations where one partner needs a break while the other wants to continue exploring,” she said. “Regularly check in with each other to ensure both partners have the opportunity for rest and personal interests.”
Open communication, like it did during the planning phase, applies here too. It’s important to keep sharing during the vacation, she said, even though the urge may be to switch off from emotional or logical chat.
“Share your feelings, needs and expectations, especially during travel delays or frustrations,” Osequeda said. “Address any issues promptly to ensure a smoother trip.”
In case of conflict, she recommends having an “emergency kit” prepared.
“This kit may include items such as a list of calming activities, a fun card game, a journal for venting frustrations, downloaded movies or shows that can give you some space despite being in the same room,” she said. “Or, a pre-planned fun way to acknowledge any frustrations and reconnect and reset.”
With these tips in mind, couples might be able to avoid many problems and they can begin their conflict resolution work well before the trip even begins. And, if worse comes to worst, they can always rely on their favorite show to soothe them before heading out for another adventure.
Not all compatible life partners are compatible travel partners, but, with effort and the right strategy, they can certainly inch a bit closer.